- in love, every moment is picture perfect
For girls as long as there’s love they can live, but for guys if there’s nothing tangible to roof and secure this love then they can’t live. Maybe this is why he’s postponing the marriage idea since he has no financial background to guarantee a future together yet.
We love them so we want the best for them. You could be scared that once he leaves for another city and find better job opportunities, the “outside temptations” will be strong as well. However, the best way to defend your love is by continue to support him and provide your love for him, while at the same time focusing on perusing your own future and career after graduation. Man are warriors but no one likes to fight on the battle alone.
Love is like sand, the tighter your grip the faster it will slip through your fingers. But if you choose to think from a different perspective and use different method (eg. using a container to hold), then you won’t worry about losing any of your precious.
You know that feeling of something you can’t have so you think it must be extraordinary? I suspect that’s how your girlfriend is feeling towards her ex right now.
When we break up, the best way to move on is to not behave in the same habit that we used to with our ex, it can make us fall into the delusion that we are still with them or some day we can get back together again. This is exactly what your girlfriend is doing and it’s very unfair to you. Especially when it comes down to such a symbolic gift like a ring, it’s crossing the line.
Sometimes it’s ok to overlook things in relationship, but sometimes it’s not. And your #1 priority now is to let her know that she’s crossing your bottom line and you are definitely not ok with it. Ask her to imagine all her actions, but it’s you doing them to your ex, would she be ok with it?
Once your view is clear to her, let her have a final closure with her ex. Maybe she’s still hurt and not over him, but she needs to realize her issues and decide whether she is ready to have a clean farewell with her past and begin her future with you. If not, then you need to back down a bit and probably leave her for a while for her to recollect herself.
When the book of the past is not fully closed yet, a brand new chapter can never begin.
- literally what’s going on right in front of my eyes now, lol
Usually people tend to think love/sex is a combo thing that can’t stand alone without each other, but it also depend on which stage of your life this whole thing is happening.
If you are still in junior high/high school, then slow it down and enjoy building up the brain chemistry before rushing fully into physical action. You will never be as pure as you are right now at this age of innocence, so why compare your relationship progress to adult’s standard?
Of course when both of you are ready, then sexual activity is not just something physical, but also a communication of your souls and can help to bring the connection you guys share to a whole new level.
Sex is not a crime when the age and mindset are right, it’s part of our human instinct. But what differentiates us from animals is that we understand our partner and respect them with love. So whatever beliefs you hold, as long as you explain it well to your boyfriend and he loves you truly, he would be willing to wait for you when you are ready.
- be brave and let someone in
This is something we can all relate if we had an ex that’s broken up in a fairly mutual way.
That feeling you have, some part of you is missing, is a natural instinct. You can be emotionally fine with the closure you’ve got, but all the time you have invested in and memories you have shared, are in a way, put up in a “hidden box” deep down in your heart. It’s not that they are wound that need to be left alone and healed, just that we need to forget in order to start fresh.
So in a way, you are exactly right. A part of you is missing. And especially when he was the first guy you have dated, he would have occupied a significant amount of space in your “love life”. It’s something you have to deal with until this vacancy is taken up by someone else.
Mean while when you are still waiting, try to rekindle with your friends that you might have neglected for a while, pick up your old hobby that enjoy doing on your own, and just be patient with this “break up transition phase”. After all, it’s an essential part of self-growth for everyone.
- be my first glimpse of sunshine
I know when we like someone and are in love, we want the whole world to know about it and want our partner to get on to the same pace as we do.
However, it’s very important to realize that not pushing it too much sometimes is the best way to allow something move faster. Is like when we had been physically injured, it does take a while before we are confident that we can perform the same physical activity again. But if rushed prematurely, we might be too scared and just give up the thought of getting better, or injure ourselves again.
He obviously needs more time to trust himself, you, and love again. And by the current status you’ve described, the hardest first step has been already made! Just continue to care and support him, when he feels that the moment is right, then everything will fall into places again.